Dear MKnox,

you are welcome. I understand your bitterness and disappointment in people.  You say:

I want to believe in the good in people so badly. I wanted to believe he could get better, could do the right thing, that his parents could do the right thing. It is hard to accept that some people – even whole families – are just utterly rotten to the core.

You wrote earlier:

I feel so helpless. I cannot understand why his parents would not only be so cold towards me and not show any empathy but also enable him and lie for him. I cannot understand why they don’t apologize for their son. Why will they intervene to hurt a victim but they won’t to get their psychopath son help or make him take responsibility for his actions? I wish there was a way to get through to them that they helped to destroy an innocent girl’s life. I wish they would read this. I wish they would know I don’t want revenge. I wish they knew I am just an innocent victim and I only want to be treated with respect. I want apologies and answers. Will that never happen? Will they never reach out to me and apologize or anything? I am in so much pain and they don’t even care? How could they just coldly destroy someone’s life?

I will make an assumption here, it’s just an assumption and it may not be true, but could it be that what you are hoping to get from his parents (empathy and understanding) is the same you were hoping to get from your own parents, specially from your mother (and the rest of your family) who perhaps didn’t have empathy for you when your father abused you?

I had similar thoughts when I was much younger: like, how is it possible that this person doesn’t like me?? I couldn’t believe they don’t like me! Much later I realized that it’s not so strange that someone wouldn’t like me, what’s strange though is that my own mother behaved as if she didn’t like me. That’s kind of incomprehensible.

In your case, it’s kind of understandable that his parents don’t have empathy for you (since they are protecting their son). Your surprise and outrage at them might stem from your own family having no empathy for you – which is truly incomprehensible and enraging.

Does this sound true to you?