Dear MKnox,

His dad pulled him out of the car when we got there and called him a dumbass and dragged hi into the house, and his mom told me she would make sure he pays to have my windshield replaced. He replaced my windshield the next day. We talked. She KNOWS what her son did. She knows many things her son did to me that was abusive.

I see. So they know about this concrete incident and perhaps some more. When I said they are protecting their son, I meant protecting from legal charges. They don’t want him to go to jail. Simple as that. That’s why they cannot – even if they had some conscience – afford to admit that he did anything wrong to you. I am sure they know he’s problematic, but probably they don’t know even 10% of what he did to you. And even if they do, they might have spoken to him in private, but will never admit it to you.

The problem is that when the abuse was happening, you never reported it to the police. He on the other hand reported it that you were harassing him (the incident when you followed him with the car), and you got a restraining order. It was your word against his. You unfortunately didn’t have anyone to testify on your behalf, and he had his parents who were willing to lie to keep their son out of trouble. Another problem is that in the case of Larry Nassar, there were more women who testified against him. Here, you are alone, or at least you don’t know about his other victims.

I agree that his parents probably contributed to a lot of his behavior, and it can very well be that his mother is a narcissist. If so, the chances that they would admit their son’s offenses are even smaller. A narcissist will never tell the truth but will try to keep the pretenses. There is no way that a narcissist would admit something incriminating to either themselves or their family (whose good name they are trying to protect). So perhaps they too participate in the smear campaign, because they need to make you appear as the crazy one, so their son would seem innocent. That’s despicable, but maybe they are capable of something like that. Your ex is probably leading the smear campaign, for exactly the same reason – so he can wash the dirt off himself.

You would need to accept that you won’t get any satisfaction from them.

I just need answers!

I am afraid the only answer you will get from your ex is “because you deserve it” (when he abused you). Or “because I can!” (when he smashed the windshield with his foot). You can’t get valid answers from neither your psychopath ex or his enabling parents. He did it because he is mentally disturbed.

I want respect! It is highly destructive to my wellbeing to be treated with such disrespect and have my voice taken away and not have any answers. Its like I am being told I deserved the abuse. It makes me feel worthless and like I should just die.

You have the right to be respected! But they won’t give you that respect. That’s why you need to start respecting yourself. You definitely didn’t deserve abuse. That should be 100% clear to you. You didn’t deserve abuse – even if your psychopath ex says you did. Can you accept that?