Dear Teckin:

Good to read back from you! Two weeks ago, when you started your thread, you wrote: “I am confused about whether he is looking for a long-term relationship, a real girlfriend, or just hookups. He mentioned the other day that he is not sure what he is looking for and gave an example of how he is unsure if he wants kids“.

The other day, he told you that “he is not sure what he wants and doesn’t think he can commit to a relationship right now. However.. he wants to sleep with me“.

This is how I understand what he told you 2 weeks ago and recently, paraphrased: I don’t want a long-term relationship and I don’t want a real girlfriend. What I want is a hookup-girlfriend (a friend with benefits aka FWB). But if I tell you that this is all I want, you might not agree. So, I am adding that I am unsure, and that maybe I am looking for a girlfriend after all. This will motivate you to agree to be my FWB, your motivation being: to be upgraded from FWB to girlfriend.

“He sounds like a player to me, won’t you agree?“- yes, I agree. A player as in dishonestly manipulative, wanting your hope to be his girlfriend to motivate you to be a hookup/ FWB.

anita