Dear Linarra:

“I sent her a dirty look thinking about how little she cared about her children“- you, your brother, your sister, the other older two- neither one of the five is HER children, she owns none!!!

I remember when I stopped saying “my mother” and started saying “the mother”, as in.. no connection/ no relation, the intent being relation and ownership is not an unchangeable reality or destiny.

“I have still difficulty realizing you would really consider meeting“- I definitely do want and intend to meet, as long as you are willing, it’s just that I need to make it happen practically and I’ve been out of the habit of making things happen practically for too long. But definitely, if I fly out of the U.S., when I do- with your consent, I WILL make a stop in France (it excites me to think of that!!!)

“I think I might be at a turning point in my healing journey, I am not quite sure because I can’t see ahead, but there’s definitely something different compared to how I used to proceed and feel. It is very mysterious, yet not too scary“- no expectations on my part in regard to what the turning point may be, or even if it will be.. this is the magic of Healing.. you get to get surprised along the way, as in: I didn’t expect that! I had no idea!

“Today she find a way to pet her nose into my brother’s business even if he’s not here anymore!“- semantics: (1) in her mind, there is no such thing as your brother’s business- there is only HER business, (2) “he’s not here”: in  her mind- when he was physically there, he was still not there.

“the only access to the bathroom requires to go through her room“- I just had the image of you flushing her down the toilet. Symbolically, of course.

anita