Dear Anita

Thank you again for caring via listening attentively and then responding thoughtfully.  Means a lot! Thank you!

For a long time, it has been very difficult to acknowledge that my own mother is a narc or is toxic. We grew up indoctrinated that she can do no wrong – and everything that she did was because of love, and I have to be grateful for her satisfying my physical needs for food and shelter.

A few years ago, she started to do a few things which were blatantly and incomprehensively unkind. I think she found it difficult to accept that I have become very independent of her.  And it is perhaps her perverse way of drawing me back to her. What she did plunged me into depression. The silver lining is that, in my attempt to understand her and her actions, I grew and pierced the original delusion I had about her.

Your insights have enabled me to again revisit my childhood, and realise that maybe my preoccupation with justice, albeit a little trivial,  stems from what happened during my childhood – and to put in your words, perhaps my attempt to right the “core injustice” that happened to me and my siblings all those years ago.

Perhaps within me is an anger – a burning flame – that has never been extinguished.

So, to heal and move forward, would the way be to accept that all of us are flawed (including my mother), and then let go? As you rightly said, injustice is everywhere.

Thanks again Anita for your invaluable insights!

Gratefully,

DC