Dear OrangeHeart,
good you’ve spoken to your boyfriend… I don’t know if he is manipulating you on purpose, convincing you that a conversation happened which never happened. But even if you had bad memory, you described some of his behavior on your previous thread, and it is controlling, manipulative and immature. This is what I wrote on your previous thread about how I see your boyfriend, summarizing what you described:
He has tried to come between you and your best friend, he badmouthed him, so you wouldn’t spend time with him. He gets offended and gives you the silent treatment when you speak to this same friend on the phone. [At the same time, he secretly goes visit this friend and spends time with him without your knowledge.]
He is also hiding things from you, not telling you the whole truth, inventing things that never happened (gaslighting you), due to which you started questioning your sanity. He gives you a 2-day silent treatment even for washing the dishes at his place!
He might not be a malignant narcissist and a pathological liar like your ex boyfriend, but his insecurity and his mental health issues cause him to behave in a toxic manner. And you are right to be upset about it – you aren’t overreacting or projecting issues from your past relationship. He is truly behaving badly and immaturely.
You might have tolerated it so far, because while growing up you’ve learned to suppress yourself and adapt to other people’s needs. But you are less and less willing to tolerate it now. You are less and less wiling to suppress yourself and your needs. And that’s why your boyfriend’s behavior is becoming less and less tolerable.
I encourage you to stand your ground and not allow him to question your sanity. He is using you for his needs, with you he feels better about himself, and no wonder he doesn’t want to lose you. That’s why he is doing everything in his power (even twisting the truth perhaps) so you’d stay with him. But you don’t need to accept that any more.
Though I run this site, it is not mine. It's ours. It's not about me. It's about us. Your stories and your wisdom are just as meaningful as mine. 