Dear Lesley:

You are welcome.

“Any advice on how to get the loop of replaying the relationship out of my mind and stop wondering why he did this?“-

Let’s look at what happened and what he told you: “”initially showing upset and saying he was probably going to regret it“-  most often, you can’t trust the sincerity of a person initiating a breakup because he/ she wants to get the breakup over with as quickly and as easily as possible with no post- breakup problems, so they’ll say anything to make it happen.  Regarding him looking upset: his upset could have been about his fear of suffering possible post-breakup trouble, and not about being upset for not having you in his life anymore.

“He made up his mind without me or any of my input. He has not attempted to reach out.. he turned cold the next day. Just said that the spark was gone and we needed to move on“-

– regardless of his deeper issues, a fear of commitment, discomfort with ongoing intimacy, etc., the fact is that .. he made up his mind. He said the spark is gone: believe him. Believe that indeed for him, the spark is gone, for whatever reason. It’s gone, he is done and is gone from your life.

Visualize a heavy metal door. Every time you start ruminating about why he broke up with you, bring up in your mind the image of that heavy metal door being open.. and then close it tight, seeing the image of the closed door in your mind. Repeat as needed.

anita