Dear Anita,

I never thought the actions my mom and sister did was consider a form of abuse. My mom never laid one finger on us even though she’s a bit overbearing at times.

At the moment, I don’t have the financial ability to move out (not working yet due to health). After moving to the living room, I minimize interaction with my sister (avoid unnecessary conflict), she would slip apology note underneath my door and asks me to move back to the room. I refused her by saying I need my own space, I decided to give up the room to you. I did try to mend the relationship but she ended up writing me another note (from previous post) that made zero sense. I feel that my older sister always wants to get a reaction out of me and my brothers through small subtle things like bumping into you while we cook/sit/cutting ingredients etc. I do not really understand her at times, maybe part of the problem is that I try to understand her.

I spent most of my life hating my dad, upon the news of his death, I wasn’t able to shed any tears for him (I remember being accused of being cold hearted). Everyone in the family cried except me, my sister/ relatives looked at me as if I was a monster who has cold blood. Hating him made me realized one thing, I was not able to truly live my own life because I am unable to trust anyone, it was very difficult for me to open up to people.  I would like to forgive them for myself so that I could move on with my life without feeling bitter but I do understand abuse should not be overlooked.  I do empathize my sister since I  experience depression before.

Since I will be staying home for a while, any advice on what I can do to better protect myself emotionally? Is minimizing interaction with my sister considered passive aggressive?

Lutie