Anita-

Thanks for your quick response. Wow…I’d forgotten that I’d even posted that 5 years ago. Seeing that post and my post today in comparison- reality about the way my life is and the ways in which it hasn’t changed just hit me. Yes- you’re completely right.

I am guessing that no matter how much you do for them, your father will not be pleased.. and your mother- it may make no difference to her, what and how much you sacrifice. And so, all your loving sacrifice will be for nothing.

Yes. Correct. Although (before all this happened)- I was in more or less in a better place than that post 5 years ago (I find creative work deeply fulfilling and sustaining and that helps my mental health)- not much has changed. Because I have and continued to put my parents’ needs before my own. And now– that my mother has had the stroke, my father expects me to especially do this, if something happens to him.

Logically, the most healthy thing would be for me to severely reduce contact. Emotionally, I won’t be able to do that right now because of this particular situation.

I admit- not taking action has been an issue all my life, and while I do have some good things in my life (living in a large city still, my creative work (outside my not-so-fulfilling job), the most important thing that I should have done- cutting the emotional/codependency cord from my parents, hasn’t happened. I haven’t been able to bring myself to do it.

You’re also right that moving back to my childhood home should my imagined worst-case scenario come true is a recipe for disaster. It’s just that– I can’t see any options re: caring for my mother should it happen. I’m so overwhelmed right now I can’t even think straight about all this. I probably need to calm down and just think.

I wouldn’t quit my employment though- that just wouldn’t be possible. I guess I have to hear my mind without my parents shouting at top volume inside it.