Dear darkmatter:

You are welcome. Texting you that he feels horrible about what happened, that he wronged you, that you don’t deserve it, that he feels guilty, that he doesn’t expect you to forgive him, that you have a pure heart, that you are very special and that you deserve all the happiness in the world- he texted you all these things so that you will feel better about him and the breakup.  Maybe he means some or all of these things, and maybe he doesn’t. People who initiate a breakup and want to be left alone by the one they break up with say things that are likely to make it happen (to be left alone).

“I haven’t responded and I don’t think I need to, correct? Also I think indefinite NC would allow him to see what he wants, whether that’s me or not, correct?“-

-I think that he is not interested in getting back together, and that he wants you and him to move on in separate directions. You can respond to his text saying that you understand that in his mind the relationship is over for good, and then ask him if you understand correctly, telling him that you want the truth (a Yes, you understand correctly, or: No, you don’t understand correctly), so that you can move on if it is a Yes.

Tell him you want a Yes or a No without all the flowery language (‘you have a pure heart..  you deserve all the happiness in the world, you are very special, etc.) to soften the truth, if it is a Yes.

And then, if it is a Yes, accept it, let it sink in your mind, come to peace with it and move on and away from him.

anita