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Dear OrangeHeart,
the possible reasons anita mentioned are all valid in my opinion, they could be why you are rejecting your boyfriend’s touch. Perhaps reason No4 is the most active at the moment, since you say you don’t feel emotionally close to your boyfriend:
I feel like we are doing a bit better, but its hard, it seems good during the week and then things seem to fall apart at the weekends! But i had a big chat with him last weekend about how i feel and we seem to be more on the same page now.
I haven’t been feeling very close to him emotionally for quite a while, but also i dont even know how to open up again. As much as i want to make it work I just feel like im being very closed off to him and i dont know how to stop.
There is probably a reason why you don’t feel close to him emotionally, even though you say you’re doing a bit better and are “more on the same page”. Has his behavior changed in any way? Is he still giving you silent treatments? If you want something, do you dare to express it, or you just accept whatever he wants, so that he wouldn’t get upset?
It also could be due to past trauma i feel like that kind of fits with the panicky reaction, its like fight or flight
Are you referring to a particular traumatic situation, which is triggered when your boyfriend touches you?