Dear Elizabeth:

“When I saw him, I didn’t feel uncomfortable or hurt like I usually do. I felt nostalgic and sad all at the same time… It’s kinda sad acknowledging the end of this relationship that I had invested in so much of my emotion… I am just happy now that I don’t wish him to drop dead… I was in so much pain”-

– grieving the death of a love relationship with a man (no return on all that emotional investment!)  is similar to grieving the death of the man himself: first there is great pain, then there is great anger.. pain=>anger=> numbness perhaps.. then back to pain and anger.. and eventually the pain lessens, the anger lessens and all that remains is sadness.

* Except that when the love relationship dies but the man lives.. if and when we see him in a new relationship (particularly if you are not in one)- pain and anger are likely to return.

“April this year I thought I would be able to reach this stage. Were I would see him and be ok. I am somehow grateful that whatever happened did. It pushed me into learning more about myself and where I want to head from this point”-

-Congratulations for reaching this stage! It’s not smooth sailing from here on I imagine, there is still some pain, some anger that can come up sometimes, and when that happens don’t be alarmed, it’s the way of nature… and not alarmed- let the pain and anger rest in sadness.

anita