Dear Dougaldog,

I feel for you, it’s not an easy situation. Since you have stayed with your partner, who is an alcohol addict, for quite a few years, I am wondering if you have experienced something similar in your childhood – perhaps one of your parents was an addict, or unavailable/unreliable for other reasons? You’re welcome to share some more, if you feel comfortable…

I agree with anita that your partner most probably won’t change just for you. Since she isn’t even willing to admit that she has a problem, it’s likely that she’ll keep doing it until she can. Your love cannot convince her, unfortunately, as it is usually the case with all people suffering from addiction.

So you would need to find the strength and courage to let go of her, which I know isn’t easy, not only because you love her and have hopes for the future, but also you don’t have anywhere to go at the moment. I believe you’d need to work on both lessening your emotional attachment to her, and also empowering yourself to be less financially dependent on her. Neither is easy, but can be done… If you’d like to talk some more about your situation, specially your childhood and upbringing, you are more than welcome.