Dear noname:

I thought I might as well write to you just a little bit of whatever comes to my mind, without referring to quotes from what you shared previously. When I use the pronoun “you”, in the following, I mean not only you, but me and many millions of others:

When we have a very difficult, unhappy childhood, when is our childhood over? Is it when we turn 16, or 18, or 21.. ? or is it when we get to be 30? Is our childhood over when we no longer live with any of our parents.. or when we get a degree, when we get job, when we can pay our bills.. when is it over?

Clearly to me, it is not over for as long as we continue to experience the same emotional and social experience as we did in childhood, and we are still the children that we were then, with the addition of primary and secondary sexual features and inclinations.  You love women just like you loved your mother; you are afraid to be hurt by women just like you were afraid to be hurt by your mother (and father), you are as needy and angry at women just as you were needy and angry at your mother, you don’t trust women just like you did not trust your mother or your father. You are as lonely now as you were then, hopeless like you were then, anxious and depressed like you were then.. it is all the same. And when you interact with your mother, you still (currently) love her and distrust her and angry at her just like before.. it’s all the same-old-same-old.

More, tomorrow.

anita