Dear Anita,

Thank you again for your ongoing support.

Firstly with regards to my parents they are quite the opposite now.  They are no longer critical of me – in fact very proud of me.  My mum is supportive and I have gone to her with my problems but she has very bad anxiety and worries more than me and I don’t like putting things on her.  My father is now 87 and my mum cares for him.  I don’t want to put stress onto either of them.  They are definitely no long critical of me.  They do however identify the faults in my husband but also see his good qualities.  They are also very close with his parents and we are both two small families who have come together.  I love his parents very much and would struggle to not have them in my life also.

I definitely need to sort things out with my husband and change the dynamics in our relationship.  I just struggle when I am in this headspace where I feel guilty for what I have done.  In my head what I have done is worse than the way he treats me and I guess society would also see it that way.

I also don’t want to break up our little family and it would absolutely break my daughter and I don’t want to do that to her.  I just need to find my strength to get over this pit of the stomach feeling and awful anxiety.