Dear Ivygrl:

“How are you today“- I am feeling better, thank you, now that I have power and internet back. Because of heavy snow and below freezing temperatures, I lost both since yesterday, had it back almost 24 hours later.

“How can I have a good quality of life back? And how can I stop endangering my family members and friends? Even if I have autism?… “How can I ever stop being frustrated and weak as an autistic individual?… how can I succeed with patience… ? … how can I control my challenging excess stress and tension behaviors?… What can I do now? “- the post I submitted to you yesterday has all my answers. For better answers, you will need to ask a competent professional who knows a lot about autism. I am not a professional and I know very little about autism.

I worry very much that since my mom… doesn’t want to hear me cry in those unnecessary situations… She just doesn’t want to hear me scream while crying in punishment situations“- I understand that your mother, like other people, do not want to hear you cry and scream, especially in public.

Can you tell me what a punishment situation means?

“I get so scared of ruining stuff, I want to make things perfect, when I know perfection doesn’t exist in art. What could I do with my gel pens and sketchbook and blank sheet of papers then?“- relax before and during producing your art and repeatedly say to yourself out loud, in a calm voice: it is okay to not be perfect. No one is perfect.

“To be strong you have to push yourself really hard to the point of burnout… I stick to push myself really really hard and be successful“- it is not true that to be strong you need to push yourself to the point of burnout. The opposite is true: to be pushed to the point of burnout makes a person weak. When you do push yourself, push yourself very gently!

“How can I be more assertive without hurting anyone’s feelings?“- give me an example of a situation where you need to be assertive, and I will give you advice on how to assert yourself in that situation.

“I beginning to notice my family isn’t too autistic friendly, even though my family actually loves me and stuff. They don’t tell the truth at times to the therapists or counselors, that I really hate noises or lights“-

– do you mean that people in your family (parents?) hide information from therapists and counselors, for example, that you hate noises and lights? What other kinds of information does your family hide from therapists and counselors, and why?

“How can I take one step at a time when I’m told to do too many things now?“- calmly and confidently, best you can, tell whoever is telling you to do too many things at once: that you will accomplish more if you do one thing at a time. Tell them that being pushed to do too many things at once is leading to your burnouts and outburst, and better prevent these!

anita