Sorry for the delay Ivygrl! I was unwell yesterday and wasn’t able to give my full attention.

I think you’re asking all the right questions, this kind of personal development takes effort, time, patience and acceptance.

Whilst wanting to improve your behaviour and emotional control is understandable and a great goal. I think it is equally important to accept your condition and the unique limitations that come with it.

When I say accept, I mean do not blame yourself when things don’t go to plan. It’s okay to make mistakes.

I’ve said before you seem very hard on yourself. You’ve mentioned that you have perfectionist tendencies. This puts additional stress and anxiety on yourself. Relaxing your attitude and challenging these thoughts. Allowing yourself to be without punishing yourself is very important for managing anxiety. One method people use when they are struggling to be kind to themselves is “what would I say to a friend in my situation?”.

You’ve mentioned that teachers tell you off for behaviours, you mentioned that your mother is strict. You mentioned your carer threatened you. This is what I meant when I asked before if you picked up these tendencies from others.

Negative emotions are as much a part of life as the positive ones. Crying can even be helpful. It can release tension and endorphins, it is a request for comfort from others. Personally, understanding my reasons for crying helped me to substitute an alternative behaviour. If I want comfort from others. I know to communicate that now.

Understanding your triggers can help you plan strategies to cope with those situations.

For example, when I’m anxious I find that I don’t communicate well. To avoid issues when I know I am going to be anxious, I often write down in advance what I would like to say. Including phrases to end conversations if it gets too much.

Personally, I have difficulties with changes to plans. This means that I need to ask others for help to figure out a new next step in the plan.

Self-soothing is a very important skill to learn to help manage difficult emotions. Meditation or journaling can be helpful for some. Practicing compassionate self-talk is another strategy. Perhaps you already have some self-care methods that work for you?

• This reply was modified 2 years, 11 months ago by Helcat.