Dear Elisa:

You are welcome. I am sorry that you still suffering at the place that is supposed to be home, as in a good place for you, a place of safety and love.

“I am still at home, and I find it hard…. I grew up with… It feels the same… passive aggression…  so much pain… blame and aggression. It’s such a tense energy to be around… It’s been like this for so many year… I always felt it was my responsibility to make them happy… to be.., a good girl“- home is the same as it always was. It wasn’t a good place for you then; it is not a good place for you now.

“My dad… mocked me for how I continually find myself in broken relationships“- the first broken relationships situation you found yourself in is the home you were born into, through absolutely no fault of your own.

The man you refer to as your ex-partner, I don’t think that he was ever your partner. He is just a guy that happened to be there:

“My ex-partner took contact with me over the phone. He was scared… he was relieved… He said… He said…“- there is no value to what he says to you other than vocal utterances exiting his mouth and entering your ear. Please free your brain from what he says by letting it out through the other ear.

“Why do I want to be with someone that treats me that way“- hoping that he will change and treat you well.

“Maybe it was my fault, maybe I’m the problem“- meaning the problem is not your mother, not your father, not ex “partner”: they are perfect specimens?

“Slowly I go back to the pattern of feeling unlovable and at fault“- that’s a dominant feeling since childhood, so your brain habitually goes back to it.

“There must be something wrong with me that my ex-partner doesn’t want me“- he is not your ex-partner. He is just a guy.

anita