Dear Anita

Ever since I experienced betrayal and painful breakup from past relationship, I became paranoia and its hard to trust people anymore. It somehow affects me till now. This current guy friend has been an artist with lots of fans, sometimes when I see fans commented on his photo that he’s cute I felt jealous. He is also friend of other artists and there is one talented pretty lady who is successful in her art career that I often compared myself with, and felt envy. When he doesn’t text me in long hour, i guess he’s been texting with many others people, and that’s where the anxiety stems.

it is possible that he prefers a long-distance almost-relationship over a committed, in-person relationship

From my understanding of his past relationship, it started from him getting close with his ex girlfriend as a coworker -> it leads to more texting -> eventually they got together after getting closer. So I worried this would happen in his new working place too. By the way I finally able to go back hometown soon (2 weeks later) and will be staying there for one month. Will see how we progress from there.

I wonder how a gratitude journal can help your sense of self/ self-esteem?

I’m not too sure as this has just started for the 3rd day, I’m trying to acknowledge and appreciate every action taken by myself that helps in self growth.

 Is there no way for you to socialize in-person with people?

Sometimes I socialize with other tenant of the same household, but the interaction is minimal. Once every two months (in average) I meet up with friends too. Aside from that, I have video call one a week with parents. Most of the time, I’m alone when going out for movies or grocery shopping. I’m still looking for ways to meet more new friends, and recently looking up for yoga classes hoping it would fill up my time a little.