Dear meliss:

Again, I will start with your last part of your message: “I won’t forget when you told me that the lady who told me F’s words to me were only words was wrong.  That meant something to me” – I wish I could let you know how much I know that his words were never “only words“. I know how powerful the words of a parent are, especially the words of the good parent. For you, the woman who deserved no more than the reference of the pronoun “her”, was the bad parent of the two, and F was the good parent of the two, deserving your reference of “my father” and “my dad”, so his words have always mattered a whole lot.

“At one time, you said “there was a possibility of us both agreeing that it would be a good idea to exchange emails”– yes, this is after I told you that I do not want to exchange emails, following which you started putting pressure on me. What you quoted here is me starting to give in to the pressure, best I remember.

“Cold?  Was I?  Did you experience me as cold?” – definitely at times, the one most memorable is when I wrote to you, in regard to your very, very… very  abusive father: ” Isn’t it sad that I, a person you first communicated with only five days ago, a person you never met in-person, cares more about you than your father whom you’ve been with in-person for 46 years?”, and you answered: “While I do appreciate your responses and you taking the time to read, write and in some instances, validating my experiences, I really wouldn’t describe you as someone who cared about me…  I honestly don’t think it’s a fair comparison“.

“I really wouldn’t describe you as someone who cared about me” feels cold to me.

anita