hi anita,

* I just noticed that I included a quote in my email above that includes your age, I apologize, I know that mentioning your age rubs you the wrong way, I copied and pasted a quote from you that included your age, not thinking about the effect it has on you. – I accept your apology.  It was nice of you to acknowledge my feelings, and to make a post letting me know you didn’t forget our discussion.  I didn’t notice it, to be honest. But it was nice that you remembered, that you took my communication about that to heart.  Thank you.

I wish I could let you know how much I know that his words were never “only words“. – Again, thank you.  For a small while, it felt like, it’s not just me-that someone else can see.  So, I won’t forget that.

“I really wouldn’t describe you as someone who cared about me” feels cold to me. –Your reaction is fair.  Before I address it, I want to say:

In my previous post when I talked about possibly being cold (or curt), I meant as it related to our exchanges when we were trying to exchange emails.  That Monday, I was communicating from my phone, I was at work.  I gave short curt questions or answers. I was not as responsive as I felt I should’ve been.  You gave a little small talk and exchanges in your responses (like saying this wasn’t my kind of serendipity or saying you were thrilled when the email finally worked) and I didn’t respond properly.  It was in the back of my mind to go back and respond but on that day, I was purely functional.  That’s one of the things I imagined I did wrong.

As for the above, I think we had been writing for 2 or 3 days-maybe a week.  I don’t think a stranger could care about me in that amount of time.  I did appreciate your time and compassion.  I still do. I thought that F was mean, but if I went to the hospital, he would try to see me, you wouldn’t/couldn’t.  I just felt like, it wasn’t fair to compare you and him-like apples and oranges.  But yes, it is possible I come across cold at times, and there are times I feel it’s best to pull back emotions or not to have emotions so as not to scare others or be rejected.  My reaction to the above was not to minimize your response to me at all- I believe I understood and appreciated your sentiment.  It was a very kind sentiment.  I see I didn’t communicate about that clearly.

m