Good Morning Anita,

“for healing, the answer needs to be instead: this is not continuing, and the blame game is not a thing!        Yes Ma’am! I shall change my verbiage.

“I don’t allow my mother and family to disrespect me, I’m also called ‘the bitch’” -if the information that you are called “the b****” by whomever is reaching you at the present time, then you are still being disrespected by whomever is passing this information to you. This is just a stamp now, a badge of honor, that i wear proudly. They can call me w/e I don’t think much about it. I brought it up as this was the case, and I thought it helped to understand the situation better.

“I just walk away and cut people out, if they haven’t already cut me out” – did you cut abusive people permanently out of your life, including family members, or do you cut somut it. e abusive people out of your life for a while and then reconnect? Yes i am prone to letting people return, but they don’t get the same version of me. The return isn’t a hey we are best friends now, it turns into a cold exchange of hellos and good byes. The return is usually just stupid crap on FB and seeing these people when im with someone who is still friends w the persons.

“I limit my contact w my mother, and she does w me as well. She doesn’t like me, so much so I really thought I wasn’t her kid and took a dna test” – that’s amazing, my goodness! How is the limited contact with her affecting you, and why do you keep any contact with her, if I may ask?  Tough question. I had cut my father out for a while, but i needed a roof over my head and he gave me one. I feel like i always still need my parents. Dad wasn’t around when we were kids, as much as you need. He has PTSD from war, and did some shitty stuff as a human, but was there when i called. Mom is a different beast, she is narcissistic. Mom was home, but never taught us how to be adults or do half the things to survive, well i should say live, as we all are scraping by surviving (none of us lives).  Limiting her exposure to me, and knowing how to work around her seems to work out ok. I get a call once a month or 2. or a text from her. My sister, that i talk to, gets called all the time, My other sister (heard this from the one i talk to ) had a 2 hour call about Jesus (mom’s new thing is the bible with husband #5). I know if i change the subject to myself she quickly wants to hang up.

I guess the short answer is we were taught to be dependent on others, like she showed us growing up.

Thanks Emmy