Dear noname:

You are welcome and thank you for being here!

“I must begin to open my imagination to the possibility I can be loved by myself and others. My life depends on it” – your life and your quality of life depends on it. This possibility that you will be loved is a real possibility. I can definitely imagine it!

“I ran into a friend of mine at the bar this weekend, whom this summer I convinced to start therapy… This friend’s older brother committed suicide about 10 years ago… their younger brother two weeks ago also committed suicide. It broke my heart to hear this… I’ve promised myself to never go as far as suicide because of the wake of pain it leaves for the living, but in other ways I engage in a slow process of destroying the vibrant inner life within me…  I don’t tap into (it) often enough… I don’t want to leave behind a legacy of sorrow and misery” –

– Throughout your life, waking up every morning, did you not expect your day to be this way or that way, some mornings expecting good things to happen (being optimistic about the day to come), many mornings expecting bad things to happen (being pessimistic)?

Recently, while communicating on the forums, it occurred to me that animals in the wild wake up each morning, not with an expectation for the day to come, but with a desire for the day to come, a desire I refer to as the call of the wild.

What if you wake up every morning with no expectations for the day to come, and instead, with the call of the wild: the innate animalistic desire to explore and experience this moment, and the next?

My personal call of the wild is learning about people, ultimately, learning about myself: who am I, what am I about? What is life about. When engaged in learning, it makes me want to live.

The two brothers you mentioned, I imagine that they woke up too many mornings expecting a better day, and disappointed too many times, they finally gave up. If they woke up with no expectations, they would not have gotten disappointed every time. If they woke up with the call of the wild, they would have wanted to live.

What is your call-of-the-wild, noname?

anita