Dear Dave:

You are welcome! “My father wasn’t a bad man, I want to care for him, as the disability is not his fault, but the brain damage causes these outbursts” – regardless of fault, you should not be exposed to his outbursts. You can research the topic of abuse of caregivers (by those receiving care) in websites such as aging care. com/ Elders who abuse their family caregivers, and multi cultural caregiving. net/ it’s time to talk about caregiver abuse (no spaces).

“I have started journaling again a lot recently. Specifically, I wanted to focus on traumatic events, to really write how I feel/felt about them. I was assaulted 10 years ago, suffered some brain damage and lost my sense of smell for several years, I had PTSD following and I feel this may also have a part to play in how I feel, the anxiety etc.” – I am sorry that you were assaulted and suffered so much because of it!  I can’t imagine it not having a part in your anxiety. Journaling about it and about other traumatic experiences is a good idea. You are welcome to journal privately and/ or here, on your thread, whatever you prefer.

“I almost feel like if a woman shows these feelings of wanting love, I have no judgement and welcome it, but if I or another male does it, I feel this subconscious stigma” – it is very sad that boys and men are victims to this gender-based discrimination.

“I only wish I could focus on the numerous positives and amazing connection we have, without worrying that it will all fall apart, and I will be abandoned. But healing is a process, as you have said before” – yes, it’s a process, no quick solutions and resolutions. Keep at it, persistently and patiently, every day, and you will notice a significant improvement within months, I predict.

anita