as children and onward, we tend see our parents and our childhoods in the best positive light, turning our attention away from the negative, and focusing on the positive. Children do this automatically, so to feel safer. When grown up, this selective view continues.

I don’t really feel I’m just focusing on just the positive with my family. I can honestly say hand on heart that I always felt safe and fully loved and supported. I’m not making that up. What I have realised over the past few years is that I assume all families are the same or should be the same. This is wrong of me because not every family are as close and there’s nothing wrong with that. I feel let down by my husband’s family because I thought they were also going to be warm and loving and caring especially to their grandchildren and they’re just naturally not wired up that way. So I had to change my mindset of feeling letdown and hurt when they wouldn’t show their warmth to ‘thats just how they are’. Problem is when that’s coupled with them being verbally offensive and expecting everyone around them to panda to them it crossed a boundary and that’s where the problem is.

I do feel so incredibly regretful that I never had a proper career set up for myself. I’m educated and always worked (but nothing leading to a specific career) but when I had kids I gave all that up. I’m completely stuck in a rut because I can’t see me ever being able to be independent and having a job anymore. I’m so envious of working mothers because they have the confidence to work. I don’t even know what work I would do as I’m 44 now. I’m getting on. I don’t feel I have any skills to give. I feel lost.