Hi Dandan

I’m from Bangalore too :). I think you should delete all your social media. And the urge you have to leave the country is actually strong. You are scared of what it might turn into abroad, but remember you can always come back. Even 2-3 years away will be a great experience for you. You seem to already have skills to crack interviews.

You are not ready for relationships. I think your life has been too serious, so serious relationships feel heavy. You probably have a fear of missing out and that is why you keep stalking your ex. But in your first post you actually wanted to live by choice with freedom. Why don’t you decide you will go for a year only first and do it. The problem with discussing with everyone is most people benefit from you staying here. You going away reaps no benefits for your friends. We were all new at some place at some time. In fact, since you said you are sensitive, some space from all the present drama would do you great.

Focus on yourself. I am scared of being single too. But I feel like you need to be ready to be in a relationship and not just afraid of being too old. I have the exact same fears.  You are so down now, I don’t think a relationship will bring you up. You need a fresh environment. It may sound silly but I am planning on moving to Hyderabad for this reason. It may not seem like a real move to you but for me it is a big deal :). I think you should do it. I know you said “35, then 40 and then I’ll die”. That won’t change anyways. Why tie yourself down already when you are ready to explore the world. Fear is normal. Even I have insane fears about moving to Hyderabad and I am Telugu :). But we can do it. And you are not too old if you are ready to look outside arranged marriage. For men even 35 is ok.