Dear Dandan:

There are many, many Alcoholic Anonymous (AA) meetings in Bangalore every day of the week. I counted 16 different AA meetings available on Sunday alone. Addresses and phone numbers for every meeting are available and a helpline phone number in red is flashing across the screen (aa bangalore. org).

Also, there are rehabilitation centers for alcohol and drug addiction in Bangalore, one of which is Anatta Recovery. A quote from their website, anatta recovery. com: “The rampant use of substances and the menace created by addiction have become one of the biggest threats for the city of Bangalore. The ever-increasing number of drug rackets busted by the Narcotics Control Bureau, Bangalore, in the last few years is an open indication of the drug and alcohol addiction menace in the IT city”.

More from the Annata Recovery webpage: “The first step towards the road of recovery is realizing the problem of substance abuse. The process of recovery can be delayed by denial, which is the toughest barrier to cross”.

Clearly, Dandan, you are in denial that you have a substance abuse problem (“I am not addicted to alcohol“), and you blame others for your addiction, not taking personal responsibility for your drinking (“they forced me and gave in“). Denying and Blaming are counterproductive to Recovery.

And then, there is your intellectual dishonesty, the rearranging of the past in a way that makes you look better, in other words, lying to others, and lying to yourself. There are multiple websites addressing the reasons drug addicts lie, such as push for recovery. com/ why do addicts lie, as well as multiple websites addressing the more specific question, why do alcoholics lie. One of the latter is drug rehab. com/ why alcoholics lie. It reads:

“Lying is common among people with alcoholism. For these individuals, dishonesty can be intentional or unintentional. They may lie to simultaneously maintain their drinking habits and their relationships” – I suspect that you’ve been posting here recently hoping that the woman whom I wish has moved on from you (a long-term member in these forums), reads your words, believes your lies/ your rewriting of history, feels sorry for you, maybe guilty, maybe hopeful, and undoes her decision to move on and away from you.

I hope that she really did move on, or that she is moving on as she reads your recent posts and the replies you received, including my words right here, in this post.

I have recently given you all of my current understanding in regard to your childhood and how it plays a major role in your current troubles, but you chose to ignore all of it. I have nothing to add, and therefore, this is my last post to you. You received a very generous offer from TeaK, an offer to help you, in the context of your thread. I hope that you take advantage of her offer and post again, developing an honest conversation with her.

anita