Dear Lindsey:

My week is going well, thank you. Good to read that you took Ella to her first art class yesterday, and that your relationship is going well. I hope working in the office all week works out well for you.

Good thing you sent a message to Chance to no longer use vulgar language and sexual descriptions of women when communicating with you. If he doesn’t respect your request, then it’d be time to let him go.

“I made a mess of things… I feel awful about the entire thing and wonder if I should send something else about the situation now…  I’m terrified that he thinks less of me… I just realized the word I am feeling- Ashamed” –

– you feel unpleasant feelings intensely.  You don’t feel a bit scared; you feel “terrified“. Look at the “I feel awful” in your post today, March 2. It’s the same “I feel awful” that’s in the title of your thread, a title you came up with last year, July 9. In reality, like you suggested yourself, things are not as bad as you feel them to be.

In real life, it is indeed… unseemly for a woman who is in a committed relationship to accept overly sexual and vulgar language from another man (personally, I wouldn’t like it in any context, but that’s my preference), and it is very wrong to continue to accept such language from another man after the boyfriend expressed that he feels badly/ threatened by it.

But you did the right thing once you found out how Jason feels about it. Otherwise, Jason already knows your… imperfections/ areas that need to improve and he showed you that he is patience and forgiving in the past. So, first, calm down best you can.

Second, (1) how long ago did you send Chance the message that he stops his vulgarity with you, directed at you or not? (2) Can you send me a copy of the message that you sent Chance? (3) Did Chance reply, and if he did reply, can you send me a copy of his reply?

anita