Dear Danny:

Because you started a new thread almost 11 months following this one (your first), I am back to it and got interested in reading an online summary of the book you mentioned, Stop Thinking, Start Living by the late Richard Carlson, a book you were very impressed with at the time, and maybe still.

Here are a few quotes from the book: “Once you understand that you are the thinker of your own thoughts, and that your mind doesn’t produce ‘reality’, it produces ‘thoughts’, you won’t be as affected by what you think”, “Your thoughts can’t hurt or depress you once you understand that they are just thoughts”, “Your thoughts always create your emotions. Understanding the significance of this fact is the first step in escaping from unhappiness and depression”,

“When you make a commitment to happiness, you are in effect saying: ‘There is so much in life that I can’t control – the world, other people and their choices and reactions, accidents, imperfections, suffering, hardships. Yet this is my life, and regardless of what happens, I’m going to be happy'”.

And now, my summary / interpretation of the parts of the book/ the blog. 12 min. com summary of the book, with which I agree: our thoughts and our feelings are not indicators of the real, objective reality, aka the world as it is; they are just an interpretation of it. It happens that we feel scared, sad or angry in certain external circumstances/ objective reality, and then, while the same external circumstances remain, we suddenly feel better, even a whole better. It happens because we don’t feel reality, we feel our thoughts interpreting reality. In the same objective reality, if our thoughts change, our feelings will change as well.

Our thoughts, in time, create thought systems which are like maps of reality, different people, different maps of reality. No one’s map of reality perfectly fits objective reality. Be open-minded and constantly improve your personal map of reality, for a better and better fit with the objective reality.

A person who is emotionally healthy has ups and downs but knows both are temporary (instead of thinking/ feelings that either one is forever), sees the truth and moves on (instead of dwelling/ obsessing on an issue), experiences life (instead of analyzing life), lets go (instead of hanging on),

… focuses on the present moment (instead of focusing on the past or future), learns from mistakes and goes on (instead of dwelling on mistakes and repeating them),  focuses on what one can do (instead of focusing on what one cannot do),

… mind is clear and free (instead of being obstructed by worries), sees the innocence and the beautiful (instead of seeing only evil and ugliness), being content with what is (instead of obsessing about what could be better), is open and accepting (instead of being closed and prejudiced), has a positive attitude (instead of a negative attitude).

The trick about remaining emotionally healthy is to not think too much while in a low mood, and to live in the present moment. A quote from the book in regard to over-thinking/ over-analysis=> analysis-paralysis: “The major problem…  is that as you think excessively about a problem, your problem-orientated thoughts will begin to lower your spirits. And, as we have seen, if there is one certainty in life it is this: when your spirits are low, your wisdom and common sense fly out of the window. You simply aren’t at your best, and you don’t see life clearly when you are feeling low… if you can’t solve a problem in a positive state of mind, you will never be able to solve that problem in a lower state of mind”.

About optimism: Optimism is not something you’re born with – it’s something you can become. You are just one thought away from a good feeling.

Next, I will reply to your second, current thread.

anita