Dear Anonymous91:

You are welcome. He is living with his parents, and you met and “have a good relationship with his parents“. At the time he asked you to be his girlfriend, almost 2 months ago, he told you in regard to your 2-year-old son that he “was happy to accept and love him as his own” and he told you or suggested to you that “his parents were fine with that“, and that “his dad said it’s his choice“.

During the less than 2 months relationship, you “asked him when he’s going to change his ways” (regarding him going out with his friends once in a while, drinking too much, if I understand correctly), and you complained to him that he is not making the commitment to you that you need him to make (“his not ready to make a commitment to me that I need“).

Recently, he told you that he is always a disappointment to his parents, and to you, that he is trying to change his ways, and later (?) he told you that he is not ready for a relationship, that he can’t be the man you need him to be, and that his father “can’t get over the fact” that you have a child.

My understanding at this point is that he is in the process of breaking up with you because he really is not ready (not willing and/ or able) to make the commitment that you want him to make, including co-parenting your son. When he told you earlier that he would be happy to love your son as his own, maybe he meant later, over time (not as quickly as in less than 2 months). Maybe he just said it without much thinking, or so to get you be his girlfriend.

I think that every time you complained to him about his ways (especially if and after he tried to change those ways) and about him not making the commitment you needed him to make- that turned him off to you and to the relationship with you.

In your original post, you wrote: “I’ve been loving him unconditionally“- not unconditionally of his ways and his commitment to you!

“I have a good relationship with his parents do you think I should have a chat to his dad just to ask him about this?” – I don’t think so because your issue is with their son/ your boyfriend, not with his parents.

Let me know what you think about what I wrote here?

anita