Anita,
“I am guessing that your ex knew about this issue and repeatedly assured you that he will never do to you what you are so afraid of being done to you, you trusted him on this particular issue, and this is your main attraction to him and your main regret in regard to moving on away from him.” Exactly.
I have seen my mom move on from my dad, now move on from my stepdad because she wasn’t getting what she deserved from the relationship, and sadly that did end up with her cheating in both situations. For me I think it’s because I’ve seen so many of my friends get with a guy who just wants something more exciting in a girl and leaves after they’ve started something between them. Before my ex, I was with a few guys but we never dated for more than a year, and this same thing happened to me because these men were “boys” and never stuck around. I finally saw a real “man” within my ex because his morals were so genuine. We’ve had conversations of people doing horrible things in a relationship (some situations between me and the passed boyfriends), and he did assure me that he’s not that type and would never want to do something so low to hurt someone he loves. He is a stand up guy. The reason me seeing him as my future husband for the longest time. Maybe I have trust issues and insecurities within my self that make me feel like a guy would leave me. I don’t want to be like that though, if someone doesn’t want to be with me then it’s their loss.
I agree, I don’t know for sure that my ex would never cheat on me or any guy from this point on. My ex is now 24, yes still young so I’m sure things will change within his character. I do tend to focus on little details and not the whole picture. I am very affected by one thing because it is important to me. I want to have eyes for only one person and vice versa. I do feel guilty because of what I did to my ex, because I would’ve never thought I would do something like this, I thought I would try to fix it and keep holding strong to keep that long lasting relationship. I feel like I lost something really important which is the trust that we built up for so many years. That’s what hurts me the most I guess – I didn’t know for sure if he would leave me or cheat, but I had such a strong feeling and belief in our trust.
– Jess
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