Hi David

When you practice bdsm and voyeurism you are often performing behaviours that in any other circumstance would be considered abusive.

These behaviours are inherently humiliating and degrading for participants and you were excited by them. Some people enjoy being humiliated and degraded. Just because they feel this way, doesn’t mean the behavior is healthy. Clearly, her mental health isn’t good and these behaviors had a significant impact on her.

You said you used to listen and watch your partner with other men. You asked her to do these things with other men didn’t you? Or did she immediately offer when you suggested that you are excited by voyeurism? You already admitted that you feel that you talked her into somethings.

Just because you have a crush on someone, and you hang out with them doesn’t mean that people are naturally comfortable with voyeurism. My guess is that this addiction, like many sex addictions, spiraled out of control and you asked each other to do more and more humiliating and degrading things.

I would ask you to be honest with yourself. Are you still in contact with her because she is still sending you sexual content?