Dear Anita,

Thanks for your analysis of my post… I understand what you’re trying to say, but I haven’t officially been diagnosed with PTSD, so I think it’s dangerous to presume that…

In general, I do have depression and I am diagnosed with BPD as you know.
At the moment I am struggling with – the mortality of life and decisions.

I’m 28 now and I’m scared about getting older, and not living the life that I was meant to.

Throughout my 20’s I created this punk ego and tried to band stuff, never to much success. Hanging out in squats, people at protests and just, going through different friendship groups.

I’m at a point now where I’ve dissolved my ego. I am trying to live life in accordance with who I really am. And I’ve gone back to writing the fantasy book. I went with my friend to Glastonbury yesterday, I’ve been there a few times now, and I do love it and have thoughts of moving there.

I am struggling with knowing what to do with my life. I don’t have a partner. As I want to wait for the right person. I’m still in Bristol – should I go back to the punk ego and do band stuff? Or should I focus on the fantasy book? Keep my head down? I’m not on social media at the moment…

I’m quite plagued with the darkness of the world. Suicidal thoughts,  the dairy industry, the porn industry and all these bad things. They really really plague my mind so much.

I’d really like to come to peace with myself at first inside and know what I’m doing in life and how best I can try and change the world before I make any moves….

I’d really like your advice on all of this, as I am finding it all a massive head f**k and confusion.
Cat

P.S I’m glad that you have never looked at 11:11 the same way again!! I hope 11:11 comes to you more after this!

• This reply was modified 2 years, 8 months ago by Cat.