Anita,

Thank you for your response and the welcome back.

I appreciate and look forward to your always balanced, and patient responses.

I agree that I should stay. I will look into my own place, though I have had amazing roommate experiences previously, in the last few years.

I am shocked to read that I bring the drama as I try everyday to meditate, practice yoga, mindfulness and be as kind as I can be myself.

I agree that my response to E’s mother was ungrateful. But that was over 7 years ago, and in retrospect I always felt bad about that moment and had the chance to apologize to her in person. I was a teenager and viewed her as my mother, nonetheless, crossed the line and I don’t disagree with her giving me the boot in the house per se.

However I have grown a lot since my teenage years. I was known as a peaceful person. Once my sister saw me reading tiny Buddha and said “that’s what you are”.

I feel the past few years I try my best but when faced with any kind of instability in another, due to me relying on them for housing since I left my apartment in 2019. From there I went to Indonesia and had an amazing healing, spiritually educational experience and felt very balanced. Arguments are not a common thing in my life – I like peace.

From there I stayed with my brother, moved with E and her brother, then my mother, and since then have been struggling with housing due to the chaos created from my personal relationships – in which I was reliant for housing this last year.

I feel I bring the drama in response. Which is not right but a lot of the behavior from others that I needed to stay with the last year hasn’t been normal.

Still, I want to understand how I may be bringing the drama even if it is not in my intention, spirit, or awareness ( every time I react, another has been exploding – it’s not right but I see in those moments. I don’t yet see any scenarios / drama I created in the recent past. Simply feels I am responding ).

So I will take the advice, begin work, saving, and secure my own place after 6 months. I do hope I can see how I bring the drama as I just feel I didn’t leave enough insight. I’m not perfect, but I don’t start arguments. When it becomes bizarre I am overwhelmed and overreact

now I have moved so I don’t need to associate with my mother or sister or feel indebted to the moods of anyone because I am staying for free ( as in the past year ish ).

thank you for your response. If you can help me understand more about the drama, please do. I hope to grow and learn and never bring negativity, but I feel that is my nature without such serious daily bizarre relationships.

thank you

bun 💚