When I say wholly loved, I am comparing the love say with my husband, to the attachment with family. I feel like they’re only partly care about me. At any point they might turn around and say you’re disowned again. Maybe next time is for good. There is that feeling of distain for me that is along side feelings of attachment. It is a very different experience with my husband. He loves and accepts me for who I am. Despite any arguments, we treat each other with respect and try to understand each other. I also have friends that love and respect me. Do you understand why I used the word whole now?
I like the acronym you came up with! I think never being abused by loved ones is a good goal. Sadly, I don’t think it’s always within our control in every circumstance such as work. We can do the best we can to protect ourselves in other situations. But we can decide who we choose to interact with closely.
For me, these things are not necessary in the form of intense flashbacks. It tends to be my own thoughts that have taken on the abusive cycle. If that makes sense. The rumination, catastrophising and suicidal ideation for example. It is a lot better than it used to be, still some things to work on though.
I tend to only have intense flashbacks when I intentionally subject myself to intense triggers. I can usually pull back before things get to that stage. I think this is because I did some very intense therapy called prolonged exposure therapy. Before that therapy, I was having intense flashbacks constantly.
I agree though, it is definitely an important goal to eliminate that internalised abusive voice I learned from others. As always, I value and appreciate your thoughts!
Though I run this site, it is not mine. It's ours. It's not about me. It's about us. Your stories and your wisdom are just as meaningful as mine. 