@anita

I would say that the arguments we have tend to be differing views but not usually angry or heated. I do get upset because challenging conversations and arguments are a trigger for me. Because I am sensitive to challenging conversations I tend to call them arguments.

Length of these challenging conversations is probably a determining factor for calling it an argument. If a disagreement continues I have a tendency to start crying.

We don’t tend to walk away from each other, interrupt each other. There have been occasional issues with raised voices but the content of our communication doesn’t change. It’s an issue that we are working on.

We communicate when we don’t feel understood. Much of the argument is trying  are to explain thoughts, feelings and intent and trying to understand each other.

Sometimes I get overwhelmed and need to stop talking for a short time to calm down. We continue the conversation shortly after.

For example, yesterday I was discussing the family issue with my husband. I asked for his opinion on how I’d handle various scenarios and how they might impact me. He was reluctant to answer and said that it was my decision. I said that I felt that I wasn’t being heard because I wasn’t asking him to make a decision for me. I was asking to discuss how he thought I would cope with and respond to different situations.

Even during this short exchange were no voices were raised. I felt upset and wanted to cry. Not because of something he said. But because of the PTSD triggers around challenging conversations and arguments. I wouldn’t call this specific conversation an argument because it was fairly short.