Dear anita

I hope that you slept well and could regenerate from your yesterday’s tiredness.

“Suffocating feelings” is indeed translated from my language to english. I don’t know which other term I can use to describe those feelings. I can try to put it in words. It is a combination of feeling empty and at the same time it feels very heavy. Hopelessness and worthlessness is also present. Sitting with those emotions feels often lonely and very unsupportable. It feels like that nobody cares, there is no value in anything I do and life seems meaningless. Sometimes I think that it would be better just to die, because I can’t handle those emotions and I think the world is better off without me. If I exist, suffer or not, the world will always move on not matter what.

I hope it gives you a big picture of my “suffocating feelings”. It is not the first time that those feelings occured, so I have some coping strategies. It doesn’t always work, but at least to stick to those strategies help not letting it get worse.

Sesha