Dear Sesha:

“I can be calm…  I can also be funny, daring and adventurous… I reach out for new people and new experiences to discover… open minded to other perspectives and world views…  deeply cares for people who I trust and feel connected with…  empathic and understandable person…  adaptable, humble and self-determined” –

It is amazing who y0u are when you are not suffering from the feelings that suffocate you (scared, paralyzed, tense, having no “joy and energy to do anything”, “nothing has meaning”, etc.).

How about regulating these suffocating feelings? You mentioned emotion regulation yourself, but did you work on it using worksheets available online? There are books and workbooks on the topic, examples: “Emotion regulation in psychotherapy”, ‘Master your emotions”, “The road to calm workbook”, “Your emotions and you, Workbook”. Do you own any of these books and workbooks?

anita