Dear Sesha:

I suggest regulating your emotions on two fronts:

1) Have a daily routine for every day. It doesn’t mean that everything in your day has to be the same as the day before and the day after- only a few things. In my case, it’s a morning short exercise/ stretching (a mindful exercise which puts my brain into a focus mode first thing in the morning), and about an hour-long walk in the afternoon. Accomplishing these and a few other routine assignments every day, gives me a sense of accomplishment and a feeling that I have some control over my life, since I accomplished what I set up to accomplish.

2) When you notice the suffocating feelings emerging from the inside of you, take a moment and (a) say to yourself: I am not afraid of these suffocating feelings!  (it’s an attitude change that I am asking you to make and remake every time you notice the feelings emerging: to stop being afraid of the suffocating feelings, to peel the fear off from them, so that what you feel is the unpleasantness of these feelings, but the fear of them lessens and lessens and eventually gone),

(b) Slowly take air in (inhale), feel the increased air in your lungs and when you exhale, exhale not only the air you just inhaled but the suffocating feelings as well. Repeat inhaling air and exhaling that air mixed with the suffocating feelings.

*** I think that part of the suffocating feelings is an angry insistence that nothing will work- an anger which is behind your rejection of suggestions given to you about how to help yourself. Is it so, for you? If it is, we’ll need to address this anger so that it doesn’t stop you from sincerely trying any of the suggestions above, giving up quickly, saying to yourself that it will not work, etc.

anita