Happy Wednesday Anita, I hope you’re great!

He is scared that we would cheat on each other or it’ll be hard and we would hate that we tried it, lots of insecurities I suppose. But I have similar insecurities as well in different subjects.

I actually feel like I can enjoy life when I can feel his love. We haven’t been seeing each other for days now and I wanted to also give him time so that he could enjoy his time with his family as his brother is getting married and they have to do some traditional stuff together. Since I am kind-of new to his life, I don’t expect him to make me a part of that cycle yet. And I also went away to my family to use this opportunity and help them/see them. But now I see that, my sister is giving hard time to my mom and me as well, since she wants attention. She nonstop mentions her sickness which turned out to be covid, and makes it a big deal out of it. She complains that she’s alone, forgetting that she never allows anybody to make her happy or even grateful for anything.

I kind of ignore her cause she was being rude to me even though I was trying to help. And now she tries to get attention from mom, but she also refuses that. Mom told me that she was done with all who just wants attention and makes every tiny stuff a big deal, which my dad did in the past and still does with me, and my sister. And I realized that I wouldn’t be able to be spoiled by my mother as well in terms of emotions. She wouldn’t let me mourn for something trivial (according to her) on and on. She would listen for once, and then ignore for the second and third times. I kind of respect that, and it doesn’t upset me right now. Because I don’t feel alone with my current boyfriend. I can feel loved enough, and my mom’s attention is extra, which makes me happy but I don’t need a lot of her which she already cannot provide apparently. I hope that I was clear enough to express myself, it seemed a bit vague, sorry about that.