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Dear Marija:
“I had a spark with a guy I met just a week ago… checking him every hour on social media. I become obsessive.. We also had sex… I have borderline personality disorder… Sometimes I start thinking that I am supposed to be single to stay sane“- for a woman suffering from borderline personality disorder (bpd), nothing is more difficult to control than a sparky romantic relationship. The spark grows into a fire in the speed of light and you find yourself feeling out of control, don’t you? . This is why it feels saner to be single: no relationship sparks=no fire.
“How should I slow the pace and make it healthy first time in my life?“-it’s going to be difficult. You will have to practice heavy duty emotion regulation skills. One way to do this is to listen to guided meditations with the mindfulness theme and do other mindfulness exercises. Are you familiar with the concepts I italicized here?
anita