Dear anita

It’s been 2 weeks since i open this website….

Regarding the girl i’m obsessed with, today i muted her posts and stories on instagram so i’ll not see any of her life… and i bet she’ll also notice how i stop viewing her stories….

Few days ago i keep posting stories to impress her, creating stories with lousy captions because she likes lame jokes…. I did this only to impress her… but i realize if i keep doing this… all the other girls will feel un attracted to me with those lame jokes who i might be with instead of her…..

I think it’s for the best…. If i muted her so that i can cut off every hope with her…. It’s really hard, but i dont want to act like a fool and keep posting that kind of stories only to impress her… when she didnt even reply me….. I dont want to waste any more time with her….. it’s been a year after the separation and i still have thoughts about her…. I really want to cut those feelings…. I’m so so disappointed in myself…..

Whenever i have thoughts about her, i cant focus on my life… all i’m thinking is that she’s the future for me…. And it’s insane if i keep thinking that way…. Starting today i’ll kill all those hopes….

I hope i can find someone better than her, regardless of my insecurities and weaknesses…

Also these past few weeks i have several conversations with people older than me, and i realized that relationships are much bigger than i thought it’d be…. I always thought if both parties love each other and there’s no quarrel, its enough…..

But i was wrong….

Both must have the same core value, clear vision and mindset for the future,

All of it must align….

The more i think of it, finding the right person is a really hard task….