Dear anita,

Thank you for your concern about me…

You can make a loving relationship happen in your life when you (1)  Avoid emotional reasoning, (2) Accept your feelings instead of hating them and fighting them, and (3) Put purpose into your actions, (4) Focus on your strengths, not on your weaknesses.

= Right now i’m in the state of convincing my mind that she has lost interest in me, and my mind seem to obey it….

Regarding accepting my feelings, i’ve decided to look at her stories and posts again instead of muting it, but i wont text her ever again…. Because even if i muted her i still keep wondering and the outcome is the same, so it’s pointless…

Tbh liking her is one of the greatest mistake i ever did in my life, it really disrupts my mind and giving me lots of anxiety….. Because she’s a girl with a bit of coquettish attitude and has attention seeking traits…. So for a guy who used to have a romantic bond with her, it’ll be hard to move on….

Just like how today i saw her posting a selfie on her instagram stories…. In that selfie, as usual she writes a caption that for me seems like “attention seeking”… Every time i saw her posting related to her appearance, i’ll get triggered easily and get mad… i feel like i need to be better than her… and tbh i still feel that way… The difference is that i can convince my mind now that i’m going to find another girl instead of waiting for her… and yes i did use the NPR method here…

I also wont post any stories with lame jokes or something like that anymore, i’m done with doing those kind of things to impress her…. Right now i’ll post stories to impress other girls…

Few days ago i went to a temple, i pray so that i will be guided to the right path of my relationship life,

because everyday i struggle with anxiety due to this…. I hope i can overcome this “relationship phase”

I pray that i’d be given an easier path to meet the right person that i’ll marry one day…. And i hope it’ll be someone that i really in love with… and vice versa…

And also you said that i need to focus on my strengths, i feel like i’m still not good at communicating with people… and i feel like i need to improve it…. Because i never dated anyone in real life…. my only experience is texting by phone…

Tbh sometimes i’m also grateful for all the life lessons that i’ve learnt till now…. I can manage my emotions better now. I just hope that all the anxiety i’m feeling everyday could be reduced little by little….