Dear Eric:

“I won’t text her ever again… I also won’t post any stories with lame jokes or something like that anymore, I’m done with doing those kind of things to impress her“- wise choices, I say!

“Right now I’ll post stories to impress other girls“- you have real strengths to impress them with (ex. of a strength: your ability to make wise choices, such as the above).

“Tbh liking her is one of the greatest mistake I ever did in my life, it really disrupts my mind and giving me lots of anxiety….. Because she’s a girl with a bit of coquettish attitude and has attention seeking traits“- (1) it wasn’t really a mistake to like her, because liking someone (or something) is not a matter of rational choosing. It’s a feeling. (2) I am guessing that this means that in the future you will not try to impress another girl who is coquettish and attention seeking?

It will be helpful if you have a clear enough picture in your mind of the physical and/ or mental traits to look for in a young woman.

“You said that I need to focus on my strengths, I feel like I’m still not good at communicating with people… and I feel like I need to improve it…. Because I never dated anyone in real life…. my only experience is texting by phone“- I noticed a long time ago that you are pretty good at communicating with people right here on your thread, including in your most recent post: (1) you address me kindly (Dear anita) just as I address you, (2) you thank me, (3) you show me that you read what I wrote to you by quoting and responding to it, and you have let me know that you paid attention to my NPR suggestion and applied it: “and yes i did use the NPR method here”,  (5) you ended your post optimistically, perhaps because you know that I encourage this attitude.

All you have to do in real life is transfer the 1-5 above to your future relationship with a young woman: address her in a way she likes to be addressed, thank her when she says or does something kind, listen to her and show her that you listen to her by repeating something she said, and showing her that you took what she said seriously enough to apply it. These are big items of good communication that you can transfer from one medium to another.

“Few days ago I went to a temple, I pray so that I will be guided to the right path of my relationship life“- excellent: you took a real-life step (away from the computer/ phone) toward your future relationship!

“I pray that I’d be given an easier path to meet the right person that I’ll marry one day…. And I hope it’ll be someone that I really in love with… and vice versa“- it can happen for you: you have what it takes to make this happen!

“Tbh sometimes I’m also grateful for all the life lessons that I’ve learnt till now…. I can manage my emotions better now. I just hope that all the anxiety I’m feeling everyday could be reduced little by little“- this is the optimistic ending of your post, which I referred to: you acknowledged that you learned life lessons and that you made progress in managing your emotions,  you expressed gratitude and your hope for reduced anxiety.

I said it before, and I’ll say it again: I am proud of you, Eric!

anita