Dear Eric:

“I only felt so much anger when I saw this girl acted that way (seeking attention)… she’s really enjoying her life now. The last time she told me that she’ll be unhappy living with her aunt when she enters uni“- when she told you that she will be unhappy living with her aunt, maybe you felt that you and her will be having something in common, a commonality: the two of you being unhappy where you live: she with her aunt, you with your parents.

Maybe you were hoping that because the two of you would be unhappy, she will be looking for happiness with you, as you will be looking for happiness with her?

“But look at her now, it’s so different from what she said“- according to her Instagram stories, she is happy even though she is living with her aunt, so you feel cheated out of the commonality you thought you had with her (both of you being unhappy about where you live and looking for happiness with each other)?

“I’ve wasted some of my uni days to interact with her whereas my uni days are done now,  because uni days are the best period to enjoy and meet new people. On my stage right now (working), it’s a bit more monotone, unlike uni days. And she’s at that uni days stage now. I just can’t accept that she’s enjoying her best time of her life after rejecting me.  It’s like I invest my stage of life wrongly“-

– you feel regret for missing out on the opportunity to meet new people and have new life experiences during your uni years. You blame yourself and you are angry at yourself  for missing out and investing your time wrongly during uni. You also blame her and are angry at her for rejecting you and proceeding to enjoy her uni years without you. Did I understand correctly so far, here in this post?

“I’m trying my best right now to make my daily life enjoyable by going to the gym and etc., but it still won’t be able to surpass her uni days enjoyment. Is revenge really not the solution to show that we’re happy without her? I feel like my ego has been scratched. Like I’ve been trying to post about my life on my Instagram stories to show that I’m happy without her“-

– I think that in your young life so far you suffered from a deep and lasting emotional deprivation: a Painful and Tormenting Lack of what you needed so much: a sense of worth, of being liked, of being okay- alone and with other people, particularly with people your age. I think that this sense of Lack produced an Emptiness that hurts and keeps hurting, making you angry because it is unfair to have this Emptiness be…  Your Life while others seem to have better lives.

Am I understanding correctly at this point?

If I am, then I’ve personally known this Lack, this Emptiness as well as the regret and anger that accompany it and I would like to discuss it further with you, as well as to address the revenge topic you asked about.

anita