Hi Dana

I don’t think people in general cope very well in harsh environments. It can certainly lead to a level of trauma. Is it possible for you to plan to leave that environment?

For me, planning to leave a harsh environment was helpful. It gave me hope that one day things would be easier.

On the other hand, sometimes it takes time. I’ve had various approaches for different situations.

If a person is behaving poorly, I reduce my anxiety by understanding that individual has maladaptive coping skills. This helps me see that behaviour is unrelated to me, so I don’t need to feel bad about how someone else is reacting. In the the past, people have done things that made me feel angry and disrespected. To process and manage these feelings I consider what is within my control? Sometimes people are unwilling or incapable of change. But I am responsible for how I perceive and feel about a situation. Considering, how do I want to emotionally respond to a situation? Can be helpful for me.

Your situation sounds very challenging. It is okay to say no sometimes, especially when you are tired. It is just as important to help yourself, as it is others. If you are giving all of the time, soon you will have nothing left. People don’t always like it when you develop boundaries and say “Sorry, not today. I need a break.”. But it’s okay for them not to like it. People can feel something about anything. It’s not your responsibility to manage everyone else’s emotions, just yourown.

I don’t know if any of this is relevant to your situation. But I wish you good luck in getting through this challenging period. If you have the funds and opportunity a therapist can be helpful.