Thank you for your reply. I’ve just had a read through those threads.

I am so in love with my partner and I want to spend the rest of my life with him. I truly do. I can imagine someone reading me saying that would be horrified as you don’t behave the way I have when you are in love with someone. But I am.

I KNOW I would never and have never in 8 years come close to cheating on my boyfriend, sober or drunk at home. When this incident happened I was very drunk and I don’t actually remember everything leading up to it. (I know it was just a kiss and nothing more). Moving forward I have decided I no longer want to drink alcohol, I never want to be in that position again. Also the fact that I will never go on a “girls holiday” again, I feel like that was a first and last get it out of my system type of thing. I want to work on myself as a person and be the best partner I can be.

As for telling my partner, I am still unsure. The guilt and shame and hatred is killing me but I almost feel like if I did tell him it would just be off loading my guilt and hurt onto him. I don’t think he would leave me, which is why I think I shouldn’t mention it. Because he will live with that pain. What do you think? I welcome any advice at all as I am just trying to know what’s best.

I’ve learnt through this that the grass is definitely NOT greener. I’ve been with this man since I was 16 years old and he loves me. We’ve both made mistakes in our relationship, he was inappropriate to a girl around 4 years ago but I got over it and put it down to the fact we were both really young. Anyway I’m rambling about nonsense now.