Hi Anita, thank you so much again for your reply.

I’m in tears reading your response because I feel like you’ve described exactly how I feel and I don’t think I would’ve been able to put it into words like you have.

I’ve been seeing a therapist weekly for around a year that has helped me tremendously. I have come so far and I’ve improved my self awareness dramatically. Funnily enough, before my holiday I told my therapist when I get back I want to try and stay sober for the rest of the year to really work on myself. I cancelled my appointment last week with her because I was too ashamed to tell her what I had done.

Every time I think of a reason this could’ve happened I just think get a grip and suffer the consequences. I really feel like I’ve ruined my life as dramatic as it sounds.

I got diagnosed with depression and anxiety disorder.