Dear Quala:

I  just realized that I didn’t read your second post. I don’t know how I missed it. But amazingly, it fits perfectly with my point about emotional reasoning:

“There was a time when my boyfriend posted a selfie of me and my boyfriend’s mom reacted ‘haha’ and I was insulted“- you interpreted her “haha” to mean that she thought something negative about you, but it was only an interpretation, one that is likely based on what you feel about yourself, and not on what she is thinking about you.

“Every time we go out, my boyfriend always says that his parents are proud of me because I am an intelligent, beautiful, and kind person.  Maybe they just said that because they were facing their son (my boyfriend)“- because you are not proud of yourself… because you think negatively about yourself, you don’t believe that it is possible for other people to think positively of you.

I suffered myself, for many years, from a low self-esteem and I know how painful it is. I too interpreted other people facial expressions, words and behaviors to mean that they too had a low esteem for me. I would like to try and help you in this regard. Would you like to share more about your low self-esteem, when did it start and why?

anita