Dear miyoid:

My Saturday morning is definitely nicer for reading your post!

“I felt a bit bad about something he said this morning, and then I reacted calmly. I said it was rude.. This was not ‘old me’. I used to… ignore my feelings… I wouldn’t react, reacting to something was never my thing. The only reaction from me I remember was crying or being really sad when the person did something or said something upsetting to me“-

– you were assertive with him (and you did it appropriately: calmly, fairly, respectfully).  This is an amazing testimony of personal transformation: from  passive, weak, emotionally-dependent miyoid,  to =>  assertive, strong, emotionally-independent miyoid!

The following is true to you and to me, in our separate lives: we are not completely or perfectly strong and emotionally-independent, neither will we ever be (because we are human). But we are way stronger and more emotionally independent than we used to be.

“I am now realizing that all I did in the past was giving every chance I can to the person in my life to correct their mistakes. I just try harder… But this have never worked in the past, maybe it has given me more time with the person but in the end, it resolved badly, as you know“.

Yes, I know. Regarding the past, back in June 7, 2019 (more than 3 years ago), in your first post, you wrote: “I haven’t got a clue about what I want in life and in a person/relationship and that is exhausting because of my fears about the future“- now, you do have a clue: you want to have a say in what happens in your life and in your relationship;  you want to be an active, reasonably-powerful part in your life and relationship, not a passive and hopeful observant. The stronger you become in your own life, the less exhausted you will be, and the lesser your fears.

“I guess as I started to work on myself, I’m learning so much“- I am smiling right now, reading this. You are indeed learning so much, and I am impressed!

“I am not sure if he felt guilty“- it is the massive, out of proportion and invalid kind of guilt that is a problem. A little bit of guilt is a healthy emotion because it motivates a person to correct a behavior that needs to be corrected.

“I expected a more spiritual approach from you but I don’t have any idea how you think about those stuff at all“- if you want to know how I think about any particular spiritual thing, ask me and I will be glad to answer.

“I try to think better than my reality, which I might’ve failed to do so but I’m hoping that it’ll have an effect“- I didn’t understand this sentence.

The sun just came out from behind the clouds (11:04 am) and in an hour, I will walk and spend a few hours outdoors. It is 9:04 pm your time. I hope you have a restful night, and again, a pleasure to read and communicate with you!

anita